I think I finally figured out why I always have this urge to go traveling or even to just leave; leave my house, leave my school, just leave. Even if it’s only for a couple of hours or the rest of my life. I used to think it was because of when I was younger how i stayed in a million different houses/countries/garages anywhere we could stay because of a war that was going on in my country, but i just realised, even though id been thinking of it for a while now, I’ve come to the conclusion that my need to escape is cause it just what i always do. I run. everytime my family were fighting, friends were fighting, or just something bad happened/is happening i just completely ignore it till it blows over or leave for a bit then come back, though comming back doesnt always happen. I use the idea of new places, new things, a new life as a way of escaping in a way. Just like how I always dream of the future cause I’m completely unsatisfied with my life right now, but I try not to think about it too much because then i remember that it involves growing up. Which is something I don’t want.
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How whenever I smile for no reason people around me always question it.
Not in a simply cuious way, but an almost judgemental way
It’s as if being happy for no reason nowadays is such an odd thing, that people are just expected to be unhappy about something all the time
Well maybe I would rather smile than frown, maybe I’d rather laugh than cry
It’s not just me either, it’s others on the street or in the classroom.
As individuals continue this culture of self diagnosing others when there really is no problem to begin with, the more the naturally happy people will begin to feel that they can’t smile, that they must be doing something wrong or be naive to not be unhappy or worried about something
This may be another reason for the increasing trend of pretending to be depressed to seem like a ‘normal’ teenager, it makes me sick.
I for one would rather see the world smile, than see the world upset and angry
